Childhood Temper Tantrums and The 5-Minute Plan

Rational: 

School officials have observed a rising trend in children and teens exhibiting temper tantrums and significant emotional dysregulation when faced with challenges, hearing the word “no,” expected to engage in non-preferred activities, or encountering difficulty and frustration. Having numerous children throwing tantrums in a classroom is impractical, especially since the student-to-adult ratio makes it difficult for schools to address these behaviors. Students are expected to have learned that resorting to temper tantrums at school is ineffective in achieving their desires. Children are generally expected to have acquired coping skills for such situations before starting school.

In addressing these challenges, two effective strategies from Healing Children, LLC are the 5-Minute Plan and Structuring the Environment. These strategies have proven helpful in managing temper tantrums and severe emotional dysregulation.

We provide detailed research on each component below to understand why the 5-Minute Plan (a structured time-out) is effective. One can obtain further insights and guidance on implementing the 5-Minute Plan through Healing Children, LLC’s live or on-demand courses.

Understanding Temper Tantrums

Temper tantrums are a normal part of development, and children typically find healthier ways of coping and solving problems as they age. For some, Temper tantrums become a vicious cycle learned through adult reinforcement as they often get results. Kids who continue to throw temper tantrums as they get older have underdeveloped emotional regulation skills (Dickstein et al.).

Dr. Lopes states that “instead of honing and practicing the adaptive skills that kids usually learn to solve problems collaboratively, these kids are learning maladaptive responses when frustrated. By continuing to practice those skills, they strengthen these behaviors over time and use them in more situations (Dickstein et al.).

Time Outs

For the most defiant toddlers, instead of setting boundaries, adults offer alternatives and choices, which often increases misbehavior (BBC). To support parents, most pediatricians often recommend time-outs as an effective disciplinary strategy. 

Cara Goodwin, PhD stated that the idea of time out was that children would be briefly removed from a rewarding or stimulating environment when they showed a particularly challenging behavior, like aggression (Goodwin). Time-outs are designed to be a consistent, structured discipline strategy that allows parent/adult to remain calm and controlled throughout the process (Enneking). Time out is best used by removing attention/stimulation to help extinguish a behavior. (Martinelli, et. al). Once the time-out has been completed, the parent/adult should quickly return to warm and positive attention toward the child to help the child regain emotional control (Enneking). 

Research on Time Outs

Brett Enneking PsyD, HSPP and Cara Goodwin, PhD reviewed decades of literature and research on time-outs and best practices. They found that time-outs are effective at addressing challenging behaviors in young children. 

Research suggests that time-out effectively increases children’s compliance with demands and reduces fighting and behavior problems like aggression and destruction of property (Goodwin). She quoted studies that suggest that parenting programs that include time-outs do not cause harm and often cause positive changes in children’s social and emotional development and mental health. Programs that included time-outs were found to be more effective in improving parent-child interactions than programs that did not (Goodwin).

Brett Enneking PsyD, HSPP said that time-outs can even have a corrective experience for children who have a history of exposure to abusive or coercive disciplinary strategies. 

Concerns about Time-outs

Some parents have anxiety about their children in time outs and worry about their children’s emotional well-being. When used correctly (with balance and structure), time-outs are effective and do not cause harm (Martinelli et al.). Moreover, research conducted by Enneking highlighted that studies consistently report a low risk of harm associated with using time-outs. In addition, Goodwin specifically addressed the parental anxiety surrounding time-outs, and the study indicated that adults exhibited more concern about their child’s well-being, a sentiment not echoed by the children themselves (Goodwin). 

Time-outs versus Time-ins

The National Institute of Health defines Time-Ins as an alternative to separating the child. Instead of creating distance, Time-In focuses on fostering a connection between the parent and the child in a warm and loving manner. In a Time-In, the parent sits with the child after a misdeed, offering support to help the child calm down and regulate themselves.

BBC recommended time-ins (staying with a child who is angry or distressed), and they suggested making sure it is a quiet, calm presence and minimal talk (BBC).

Dr. Anderson explained that the concern with “time-ins” with the child during emotional dysregulation often leads to arguing, excuses, and distraction from the original behavior. He explained that “not every behavior requires a conversation,” especially when these are repeated behaviors; a short time-out is beneficial (Martinelli et al.).

Given the adult-to-student ratio in the school setting, it is unrealistic for teachers to have multiple “time-ins” with their students. Also, a student experiencing a temper tantrum disrupts the learning environment for others, and a time-in would distract the other students.

Effective Time Outs

Brett Enneking, PsyD, HSPP explained that well-implemented time-out occurs in a warm and supporting parenting (adult) relationship with high levels of positive attention and specific praise for appropriate behavior (Enneking).

Guidelines

• Keep them as short as possible (Martinelli et al.)
• Clarity on behaviors that lead to a time-out (Martinelli et al.)
• Use it sparingly, not every minor offense (Martinelli et al.)
• But, use it consistently; if you are trying to curb a specific behavior, use it every time it occurs (Martinelli et al.)
• Allow kids to repair their behavior when they return from time out (Martinelli et al.)
• Teach and role-play needed skills for future situations (Martinelli et al.)
• Time-outs are best for kids between two and eight years of age (Martinelli et al.)
• Followed by positive feedback and connection with a parent/adult (Martinelli et al.) 

Best Practices for Steps:

1. verbalized warning (Enneking)
2. verbalized reason (Enneking)
3.  placement in a safe location (Enneking) 
4. removal from environmental reinforcement (Enneking)
5.  location in a chair (Enneking)
6. short durations (Enneking)
7. return to the chair following escape (Enneking) and 
8. follow through with the original request (Enneking)

Dr. Anderson explained that “we have a tendency to push against them. And what that means is that in the process of setting boundaries for your child, your child’s behavior gets worse for a brief period because they are pushing against the new boundaries. That actually means it’s working” (Martinelli et al.)

Co-Regulating with Adults

When a child is in time-out, it’s critical that adults remain calm. A composed adult models the desired behavior (BBC) and helps the child’s nervous system co-regulate. According to Stephen Porges, Ph.D., an expert in the nervous system and interpersonal dynamics, co-regulation involves the interaction of nervous systems, supporting mutual well-being and emotional connection. In the social engagement system, co-regulation fosters positive interactions, safety, trust, and emotional resilience. Nonverbal cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, touch, and shared experiences synchronize physiological states, including heart rate, respiration, and emotional arousal. This synchronization is essential for maintaining healthy relationships, building resilience, and contributing to overall social and emotional well-being.

Self Control (“Strong Sitting” and “Strong Body”)

As part of the 5-Minute Plan, children are expected to exhibit self-control by sitting calmly before returning to the classroom. This practice encourages mindfulness, quiet breathing, and self-calming.

Research, such as that conducted by Roemer et al., emphasizes the positive impact of mindfulness on emotional regulation, leading to reduced distress intensity, enhanced emotional recovery, diminished negative self-referential processing, and improved engagement in goal-directed behaviors. In addition, Brain Gym underscores the efficacy of breathing for stress reduction and advocates meditation as a valuable tool for cultivating a healthy internal life.

Supporting this, Stephen Porges, Ph.D. explains the connection between mood and body posture, emphasizing that an upright and open body posture, such as the “strong sit” pose, reflects confidence. Conversely, a “low power pose” associated with low moods can increase cortisol and reduce testosterone. Maintaining an upright and open posture can lower cortisol levels, increase testosterone, sharpen focus, and enhance the confidence needed to address challenges proactively and skillfully.

Relationship Repair after the time-out

Brain science substantiates the significance of the repair phase in The 5-Minute Plan, which includes eye contact, smiles, handshakes, and positive statements, which are pivotal to the overall process. Each of these components is discussed below.

Facial expressions and eye contact can alter autonomic arousal between individuals, fostering a connection. Ponkanen et al. found that eye contact, especially with a smiling face, enhances arousal more than a neutral expression. Positive facial expressions facilitate sharing affective information (Ponkanen et al.).

Dr. Isha Gupta, a neurologist from IGEA Brain and Science, explains that a smile triggers a chemical reaction in the brain, releasing hormones like dopamine and serotonin. Dopamine boosts happiness, while serotonin release is linked to reduced stress.

Touch, smiles, and eye contact all stimulate the release of oxytocin, a crucial chemical for bonding with loved ones, reducing stress and anxiety, fostering trust, promoting relaxation, positively influencing social behaviors, and contributing to overall psychological stability. According to Harvard Health Publishing, the simple act of touch, including a handshake, releases oxytocin.

The Science of Smiling emphasizes that smiling at others and receiving a positive response releases oxytocin, fostering a sense of trust. Making eye contact further releases oxytocin, and synchronized pupil dilation contributes to building trust. Oxytocin enhances the ability to discern between trustworthy and untrustworthy faces (Gander).

Children behave in desirable ways or socially appropriate ways when they feel connected. When they feel loved, respected, supported, and validated in their emotional worlds BBC) 

Emotional Coaching

An article by BBC talked about the importance of emotional coaching. They spoke of the difficulty of children’s problem-solving when in a high emotional state and waiting until they are calm and settled to reconnect and problem-solve (BBC). Their study found that children who received some emotional coaching were less physiologically aroused. 

Children placed on the 5-Minute Plan undergo training that includes understanding the purpose, instructions on performing a “reset,” the reasons for being placed on the 5-Minute Plan, and how it will help them. This training minimizes confusion and aids the child in comprehending the areas they need to focus on for improvement.

Additional Resources:

Erick Erickson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development

Foster Cline’s Stages of Conscience Development

Additional research and training completed by Healing Children owners

“Punished by Rewards” by Alfie Kohn

Healing Children, LLC Behavioral Data 2016-2020, 2022-2023

Behavioral data collected from 2016-2020, 2022 and first semester of 2023 for students on The 5-Minute Plan revealed that the students made remarkable progress.  The average duration for observed changes was 6 months, varying from 1 to 27 months. The median length for seeing improvement was approximately 9 months. Improvement was determined by contrasting the average occurrence of behaviors at the initiation of the intervention with the conclusion of data collection. For instance, if a student initially exhibited an average of 10 behavior incidents per week and this figure diminished to 5 incidents, it would reflect a 50% improvement rate for that student. 

Here are the key findings:

Twenty-Four Students on The 5-Minute Plan:

• Made an average improvement of 71%
• 83% achieved a growth of 50% or more.
• Eleven students made a 100% improvement–these students no longer had any behavior concerns.

Five Students on Structuring the Environment Plan alongside The 5-Minute Plan:

• Showed an even higher average improvement of 72%
• 80% achieved a growth of 75% or more.
• Two students made 100% growth, resolving all behavioral concerns.

Eight Students Not on The 5-Minute Plan or Structured Environment Plan:

• Only made an average improvement of 29%
• Only 25% achieved a growth of 50% or more.
• One student made 100% growth.

Healing Children, LLC collaborates with school teams to work on behavior plans and continues to systematically collect and evaluate behavioral data for students, focusing on individual progress within the school environment.

References:

1. Dickstein, S., & Lopes, V. (2023). Why do kids have Tantrums and Meltdowns? Child Mind Institute
2. BBC. (2022). The Truth about Time outs.
3. Martinelli, K., & Anderson, D. (2023). “Are Time outs Harmful to Children? Child Mind Institute
4. Enneking, Brett. (2020). Child Development–the Time-out Controversy: Effective or Harmful?
5. The Parent Translator, Goodwin, C. (2023). What parenting research really says about time-outs and how to use them. 
6. Porges, S. Polyvagal Theory: Advancing The Understanding Of The Autonomic Nervous System In Medicine.
7. Roemer, L., Willston, S. K., & Rollins, L. G. (2023). Mindfulness and Emotional Regulation. Current Opinion in Psychology, 3.
8. Gupta, I. (2018). Smiling can trick your brain into happiness — and boost your health. IGEA Brain and Spine
9. Brain Gym.
10. Ponkanen, L. M., & Hiethanen, J. K. (2012). Eye contact with Neutral and Smiling faces: Effects on autonomic responses and frontal EEG asymmetry.
11. Harvard Health Publishing. (2023). Oxytocin: The Love Hormone.
12. Gander, K. (2017). Cuddle Chemical Oxytocin linked with distrust in new study.
13. https://drdansiegel.com/you-said-what-about-time-outs/