It is not unusual for well-meaning adults to want to protect children from hurts, pains, struggles, and frustration. Most adults want to ensure that their children are happy and prosperous. At times this desire can result in adults overdoing things for their children, and wanting to meet all their wants and needs. Sometimes, they may accidentally overprotect them from experiences the child needs to move through developmental stages, which hinders the child’s ability to mature. This delay in developmental maturity can impair the child’s readiness for the real world. Ultimately hindering the child’s capacity for long-term happiness and learning necessary wisdom, skills, and independence.
Children need love, support, information, encouragement, guidance, and experiences–including struggle, and accountability to mature appropriately.
What is Entitlement?
So what is entitlement? Entitlement is defined as the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment. Overprotection and overindulgence can create entitlement in a child.
Examples of entitlement may include:
- Not having reasonable expectations for a child’s behavior.
- No consequences for poor behavior.
- Saving a child from the consequences of their poor decisions.
- Feeling sorry for their child
- Rescuing children when they feel frustrated or sad.
- Giving the child everything they want and need without expectations of working or giving back.
Some of you may be wondering why is this such an issue? Why can’t children be given everything they want? What is the harm?
As educators, we see firsthand the harm of entitlement, overprotection, and overindulgence. Children who are entitled often feel insecure about themselves. They lack awareness about their strengths and weaknesses, and have an underdeveloped conscience or moral compass. In addition, they lack empathy for others. All of these combined can intensify underlying mental health concerns. In addition, entitlement can increase a child’s hostility towards those who take care of them, and hinder their ability to develop frustration tolerance. These characteristics can lead to significant behavioral problems and the child’s ability to take thoughtful risks to move their life forward.
To learn more, watch our podcast: How Well-Meaning Adults Hinder a Child’s Mental Health. Take a live course or an on demand course or purchase our book “Healing Discipline: Bringing Hope to Shattered Lives, A Guide for Educators.” We are also happy to discuss any questions or concerns you might have via phone or email. You can contact us at 1-888-311-1883 or email us at info@healingchildren.com.
Healing Children, LLC. www.healingchildren.com This blog is copyrighted material used with permission from © (2012-2024) Sharelynn, LLC. All rights reserved.
